HEART

The first day I laid eyes on you, I loved you. I wanted you in my life, not for a moment, but for a lifetime. I took the time and skillfully orchestrated, and gave you your heart’s desire.  To see you smile; filled my heart with joy. We dated for a couple of years, then we married and had two wonderful kids. I would have never imagined that I would have such a wonderful spouse. A spouse that loved me unconditionally. As with any marriage, we had our good and bad days, but we promised each other from the beginning we would never part our hearts, and would work though any difficult situation.

Given this, I am at a loss to explain what happened. Let me attempt to clarify. A state of secrecy overtook me as I drifted and imagined. I did not stop loving, I just wanted to explore. It felt good, it felt right, so I would not deny. To keep my secret private, I kept it at a distance so no one could find out. By doing so it guaranteed my safety.

I thought I was in the clear. Then the questions began. I became voidance, I deflected. There was sorrow, but I couldn’t stop, I would not stop.  Are you upset with me that I allowed someone else in my life? Do you not understand? I’m not walking away from my marriage, I love my spouse and kids. That will never change. But I have to be true to myself.

So, don’t criticize me for following my heart, try to understand, I am a woman!

So, is this storyline acceptable for a woman or just for a man?